You can not diagnose the difference between straight WAW and mlc.
Contributors to mlc do seem to be common and your W has the list. Kids are old enough to not need her. She has had her share of birthdays and feels her best years may be behind her. She will re-write history around that fact to eventually include stating she never loved you and marrying you was a mistake. Not all MLCers will "wake up" to retract that notion. She has new ability to live on her own and experience life.
If she is not yet in some kind of blooming A, she is thinking about one. This is unfortunately part of the mlc script. As for how this turns out, I will let others tell their own story.
My W became my X after a one year sep and a few months of div business. I got the bomb after 24 yrs, 11 months, and a couple weeks of being M to the same person you just described. She did have me over to the house for my Bday the first summer for dinner with the boys, and so she could tell me her rings were off. She filed one year to the day that I got the bomb and left the house so she could have her time and space. You have seen, or will see the dead eyes of the alien that possesses her. They remind me now of the song about Those Lying Eyes.
We have been D almost a year now and I see no reason to believe she has any different feelings than the day of the bomb. She has begun to take a bigger part in the lives of our two grown sons that pretty well got erased when this all started.
I do get email now regarding business of the two sons instead of the old spew about her dating, her new friends, 'X'cetera. So at least she has learned to be civil. It was all devastating for one son who ended up falling out of college in an ongoing clinical depression.
Do not leave your home. You did nothing terrible enough to bring all this to an end. You did nothing so wrong that you should be forced from your home, and I promise falling on your sword for the good of your W will have no positive affect on her at all. Her best chance of learning she will not be happy in the future, is to live that way, on her own when she becomes so determined as to move out.
You will get better support here than with many IC if you decide to Stand for your M and take a run at outlasting this thing we often call mlc. Good luck and keep updating.
