I guess this is what you do when your thread locks.
Well I am officially a grandpa at age 36. I am a very proud grandpa! I was in the delivery room w/my wife and d20's boyfriend(not the father). Everything went great. I didnt go to lamaz class with her but, I did most of the coaching, holding her hand, counting through contractions. Twards the end I could barely count, I was almost crying I was so happy.
I wanted to hug my wife when he was born, she wasnt recipicating my feelings. This reminded me how real our problems are. I slept in our bed w/her on opposite sides this weekend, because of company visiting.
Delivery night we where trying to sleep in delivery room, waiting for daughter to dialate. I heard my wifes phone vibrate, I didn't want it to beep in a minute, so I picked it up opened it and yes another text from om, I didnt read it, I just hit ok and put her phone back.
At hospital today my w was beside me on couch we where talking to d20. She reaches over and touches my arm w/one finger like she was wiping something off or checking a pimple. I looked at my arm, nothing there, and said what do i have something on my arm. She said no. I think she forgot what she was doing.
After hospital today I started making barbeques. She asked if I cared if she go on the computer, she said she didnt want to go anywhere. I said I didnt care(really I was screaming on the inside). I did bang a few things around while I was cooking. She did say she was worried about me peeking ofer her shoulder, I said I wouldn't do that anyway.
After reading ohio_mark thread I wonder if i should be doing more to be less coopertive. I think blocking his number is extreme and wouldn't help matters.
How do you give her space living in the same house and be less cooperative to my benefit? Without pushing her further away. I feel I am not doing enough to be difficult but fear being defficult will make her want me out of the house more.
I was at the drug store looking for carbon paper for a project last week. I saw a nice fridge notepad I new she would like, I didnt buy it(no more gifts). Then we went in the same store this weekend for baloons, I bought it w/out her seeing it and put it on the fridge where our old one was that ran out. The next day she thanked me for it. I didnt say anything else about it.
Theo,
I havent slept in our room for at least a couple months. This is before I read DR and was doing all the wrong things. At this point I dont know if I should push trying to sleep in there w/her.
You read alot of poetry? I havn't but I am interested in it. I don't do alot of reading and don't want something over my head. Could you recomend a poetry book. In movies they talk of Witman, i yeally dont know where to start.
thanks everyone,
PS I'M A GRANDPA!!!!
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
She didn't wear her ring this weekend even though her and my family were around. never heard anyone mention it.
She hasn't mentioned me moving out since our last arguement. I'm not bringing it up.
I'm not trying to sell the camper anymore. I figure divorce doesnt happen overnight, if we went down that miserable road I would do it then. Selling it now would make it easier for her to get me out of the house.
Lawyer appointment wed. for knowing my rights.
She is planning on going to om place to meet him for the first time soon.
She is still racking up minuits on cellphone bill. Roughly $100 extra a month.
Since she has started her Internet affair she has bought new clothes, jewelry, tanning...
I don't feel i'm being difficult enough to her. But, I do want to give her space. I want her back commited to me, not, wondering about him and what if...
I am doing things for myself. I plan on going racing in a couple of weeks. Fixing the boat to go fishing. Checking into rock climbing in a town near mine. I see counselor regularly, not sure if helping, but it is someone else to talk to. I don't really think he can help until she decides what she wants. I feel like dbing has helped me more than him. checking into self help class for myself. My work has sent people to Dale Carnegie course(Effective Communication & Human Relations), I am checking if they will send me, if not I will find one I can afford myself. I have bought some new clothes to make me feel better(also know she likes them). This makes me sound like a girl.
I have been following your thread for some time; please permit me to comment. My situation is similar (except WAW has been sleeping with her out-of-town lover for 9 months). Also, she has told me she is going on a business trip tomorrow; she knows that I know she will be sharing a hotel room with him. Also, she is spending lots of $$ on this affair, mostly hotel rooms and extra cell minutes, costing us around $200/month She has also lost a lot of weight. She hasn't weighed this little in at least 10 years. So I feel for ya' brother.
You are doing the right thing. Give her space, don't pressure, and don't be excessively accommodating or nice. Continue with GAL (I too am fixing up my fishing boat which hasn't been wet in 10 yrs). And buying new clothes is a PERFECT 180. Spot on.... not girly at all!!
Light Switch, Be sure to talk to your attorney about not moving out. You don't want to be able for her turn it around and say that you abandoned your family. I know someone this happened to, she kicked him our more or less and then told everyone he left her.
Also be careful of selling any marital assets(camper) at this time.
And by the way buying new clothes is not girly, it's hot! It might even make her jealous thinking you are trying to impress someone else!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I have a work question. I have worked at this job for 4 years now. I previously worked it for 10 years then left for 1 year then went back. Day shift this job 1year job was rotating shifts. My wife doesnt like me working out there. There is alot of drama that I take no part in. I do like what I do, not how the place is ran or the person running it.
There is a possibilty(should find out tomarrow) that work will pay for me to take an 'Effective Communications and Human Relations' class $1500 12wks 3.5hrs one night a week.
If I could get a different comparable job right now I would.
OK the question: If I dont plan on staying at this job in the near future should I not take the class? I already feel guilty about it. But, they have thrown alot of extra work my way w/out appreciating or compensating for it over the last 2 yrs. I did ask about it today not sure how i would decline at this point. I did tell him if I couldnt that I would find one that I can afford on my own, cause its something I want to do.
I haven't applied anywhere. I printed out possibilities last night that are currently hiring. But the job I am most interested in is the factory that isn't finished, I think it should be done in 2008 not sure. Im not positive I quallify anyway, but think I am.
A friend of mine is taking it through his work, he is looking forward to using it at home more than anything. This friend and my brother-in-law are not taking there relationships for granted after seeing what is happening in mine. Im proud of them. Hope I get that chance w/my w.
I think my situation also woke up some of my friends not to take their marriages for granted. I wish I would have gotten a wake up call. I'm not sure it would have made a difference. He is the one that cheated, but maybe I could have done some things differently so that he wouldn't have had the desire to stray.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
