Well I think you summarised my marriage and relationship.
It was also the carear change and moving away that I first noticed changes in my wife. Phone calls, texts and eMail stopped or got short and to the point. I did not feel the love, so I questioned. Thats when we get the ILYBNILWY speach.
Quote:
said nothing other than I need time and space
Yep! had that one as well! This is where we hold out for hope, which doesn't materialise.
Quote:
Questions ======== Is this MLC?
Certainly seems to be the pattern, the only thing that worries me is you saying "She had brought up that we need to work on our relationship several times over the years". I did not have the luxury of knowing that anything was wrong in our marriage, she just wanted out, and to do things before she reached 50.
Will she change if she moves out? Is there really a chance we will be together again?
Unfortunatley fortune telling is not my forte.
I have been showing her that I can change ... helping more around the house, spending a lot less time on me, taking my faith more seriously, showing her support for her work, but not acting needy or clingy ... is this the right approach?
We start jumping through hoops, in the hope, when all they want is for us to be ourselves and let them go.
Or should I start going out with friends, make her wonder if I will be here if she comes back, be cold and emotionless like she is?
Cold and Emotionless - No! GAL and going out with friends - Yes!
Should I still wear my wedding ring (she is not wearing hers)?
All I will say is you will know when it is right to remove your wedding ring, but do not remove it just as a sign or subliminal message to her.
She takes everything as either controlling or negative in some way ... I started doing the checkbook, doing more things with the kids ... even trying and liking her meatloaf was taken as negative ... how do I respond to this?
Difficult one this, there is no hard and fast rules, you can only do what works, and stop doing things that dont.
Do I call her when I go out of town (like I used to)? Do I give her hugs hello/goodbye? Do I initiate conversation or wait for her?
I had to stop doing all these things, when it was apparent that she just wanted to be left alone. My initiations of small talk at the meal table was seen as talking jibberish.
What about after she moves out ... she has talked about still doing the grocery shopping, coming home to cook dinner a few times a week ... should I allow this or make it difficult for her?
Oh! heard this one to, mine said I could go round for Sunday dinner and christmas...Now she would not give me the drippings off her nose. Things will change, cross this hurdle if and when it happens.
Do I help her buy a condo or force her to rent?
If this implies financing her trip into La La Land - an emphatic No!
I am so confused. What and the heck happened to my wife?
Was2sad, made a great summary, it can be found on the "one liners" thread, in the resources
