CDM34 I never knew that every time I didn't want to have sex that he was feeling rejected. Feeling rejected every time isn't the issue for me. It is the general pattern that happened, where something or some reason, was put on the pathway to block my advances when I was interested in having sex with my W/BB.
I didn't expect to have sex anytime I thought about or wanted it. In fact, I kept my initiations to a bare minimum. I thought I was doing enough to keep the spark glowing w/o being a pest. It was all up to me to supply the positive component/steps and BB supplied the negative component/steps.
Many times I thought, “is this worth it?” After so long, experiencing unfulfilled expectations, it becomes more difficult to put in the effort to influence an event to happen.
The hug was better by the end of this "speech" and his tone of voice changed. It wasn't as harsh. We didn't have sex, but when I called him this morning to talk about a parenting issue he actually took the call That is great. No, sex doesn’t have to happen right away. The friendly feelings are more important for now.
We haven't had sex for almost 3 months How about establishing a minimum frequency and situation between the 2 of you.
[b] Shortly after that I got pregnant (D4) and we bought and moved into a house. Then my dad lost his apartment and moved in with us. I also have two steps sons (16/18). No privacy in my own home which is small.
H thinks these are all excuses because he sees ways around these issues for him and might think you should too.
Just some of my thoughts and experiences. FWIW. Your milage will vary.
