It sounds as if your wife actively seeks a big knock-down blowout as a way of releasing the stress and anxiety that build up.
If that's the case, then there's NOTHING you can do to prevent a fight. She may even feel sort of "cleansed" by fighting. My mother used to let it all out, then sit down for a happy chat on the phone. The bodies would be lying all strewn through the house...
This may not be your sitch, exactly, but the fact that you can't avoid a fight if someone's gunning for one remains true. I think that's why space is so important right now, for both of you.
