My W said the same things to me. I was a day late and a dollar short. We were walking on egg shells living in the same house the way the R was going. She eventually moved out. She actually bought her own house. She expected me to help buy furniture for the kids in her house. I told her my half of the furniture was already in our home. I refused to help her pay for anything as far as the separation goes. You should not help her move out. Let that be her burden...if it comes to that.
Most people on this board will tell you it's easier to deal with them as long as they are still in the house. That may work for most, but it didn't for me. There was so much tension as long as she was there, it was killing me. She moved out over a year ago, and believe it or not, we are making progress in resolving issues. I truly believe that her moving out made a difference for both of us.
I stopped calling her when I went out of town. There was no need to communicate with her unless it involved the children. I also eventually took my ring off. But it took a long time. She had already had hers off for about 8 months at that point. I honestly did not feel married anymore.
I eventually dropped the rope. I let her go. I was prepared to deal with the consequences, whether it was to reconcile or divorce. As much as I didn't want it, I had to prepare myself.
Your W is going to do what she feels she needs to do at this point in her life. Anything you suggest will be considered negative. The more you pull, the more she will push away. Find a way to let her have her space, as she requested. You have a long ride ahead of you. Strap on your seat belt.
PoohBear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
