It seems you are spending enormous amounts of energy trying to save your marriage. Delia pointed out something key to you: give her space and start to work on yourself.
The reason you are losing your wife is that you have probably lost yourself. Your career slipped, as you pointed out. You were probably mildly depressed or bored with your life. You let your body go to pot, etc.
OK...time to find yourself. Save yourself and you might save your marriage.
Stop chasing her, it's making you come across as pathetic, needy, weak and fearful. STOP!!!!
