You are doing well. Not asking him about last night, not calling MIL with the kid excuse are all great things. They seem small, but from one how has and is living thru this I know the strength that it takes. It will make him feel better and may even allow him to open up more because he is not as threatened by your questioning. But more importantly it will allow you to feel better and at the end of the day that is what really matters here. So continue to fight off those urges to snoop and over time those feeling may even leave you all together (well they never leave all together, but it is nice when they are infrequent visitors…).
As for pretending if there is a chance – you don’t have to concern yourself with if there is a chance right now. It won’t be revealed to you today and most likely not tomorrow. So work on each day and work on yourself and your goals and the problem will seem smaller (I know hard to imagine) but it will. The pain may return, but the waves of pain won’t be as strong and there will be more calmness in-between waves.
My W dropped the bomb in April 06 and left in July 06. There were times last summer that I didn’t think I could go on, but I did and the world got brighter again. I still hold out hope that she will come back, but I’ve started living again and attempting to move on. There are days that I miss her so much I ache, but there are days I can see a happy future that doesn’t include her.
When the pain hits me I force myself to get out and active. I have become quite the runner and have found that feeling much better than 6 beers or sitting in my house staring at the walls pining for yesterday. When the pain of abstinence hits me…. (well I’ll save that one for another day) :0
I think you are doing really great and I’m pulling for you.
