May be I do have a martyr complex. Thinking I can do it all w/o help (kids, live in parent, house, work).
Maybe you can, but you won't be much good for anything else, like sex or even your own basic happiness. Why would you go that route? To prove you can? OK, great, you've proved it, now knock it off and pay attention to your H. To be "ready" in case your H bails? You can cross that bridge when you get there. No need to run yourself ragged and make that disaster even more probable "just in case"; you know you can do it if you have to, but there's no real reason to do it now. Back off, let him help, ask for his help, scale back, do something to make time for your life with yourself and with him.
Oh yeah, and while you're at it, invest some of that time you're spending on your kids into teaching them to pick up some of the load. They'll grumble sometimes, but they'll be a lot happier and more confident being able to say they're able to do things and that they're doing their share of the maintenance of your household, not just being useless passengers along for the ride.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
