when to initiate sex after abstinence

[needlove]

well it wasn't the turn around I wanted but I guess baby steps is where I would put us now.

I did go home and apologize. However, H has been avoiding coming to bed while I'm in there. So around midnight I finally went out to the living room to sit with him. He got up to do something else. Needless to say, I got up too. I went to give/receive a hug (not receptive initially) and told him I loved him and was sorry for my part in getting us to this point.

I was trying to change and there were things about myself that made me unhappy and asked that he be patient while I get through them. Basically, the typical female body issues come into play, I've come to depend on H for all my emotional and financial needs. In essence, I've lost myself as a person.

May be I do have a martyr complex. Thinking I can do it all w/o help (kids, live in parent, house, work).

The hug was better by the end of this "speech" and his tone of voice changed. It wasn't as harsh. We didn't have sex, but when I called him this morning to talk about a parenting issue he actually took the call (lately I've been dealing with voice mail) and he was nice about it.

I'm hopeful the sex part of our relationship will come back and I don't want him to feel like I'm having "pity sex" (his term).
I may need to invest in a sex book/manual. Anybody got any favorites???