Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[Trixi]

Well, I'm kinda po'd at the ILs right now.
They confirmed with him that he "knew" what he was doing and then proceeded advise that before he moves he should consult and attorney so that the rules can be set in stone. (ie, he isn't abandoning the house, I can't have anyone move in, etc.)
I am fine with getting some things on paper, but I don't know about the attorney thing (at this point.)
I was irritated with them because I would have liked them to fight for family a bit more. Oh well.

Then I said "Controlled Separation" covers all these things and more and he says "Yeah, well, I don't want to agree to any dating/sex rules." Grrrr I say "Look, if you have sex it's adultry.period." He says "Well, then maybe we should just go for a divorce right now, I don't agree with the adultry part." *sigh*
M "So you want to F people SOOOO bad you will force a divorce?!"
H "No. I am not leaving just to go scrw people. Okay, I promise I won't have sex withone for 2 months. How's that?"

So, we go around a bit about whether our marriage can be saved, whether we should "date" during this break, who's fault is what, etc.

He says that he thinks he will know "pretty quickly, like within 2 months" whether he wants to move on or not. (Hmmmmm, he'll know within 2 months and not have sex for 2 months.....hmmmmmm)

I can't believe I am going to say what I am about to say, but 2 months doesn't seem like enough time to decide about a 10 year marriage.

MKultra-I agree that anyone who has gotten so far as to start talking with family members, has made up their mind a long time ago. He says that he is tired of living for everyone else; he wants to be happy; he's tired of always thinking about the impact his decision will have on the extended family, etc etc.

He has been waffling for awhile now, so our relationship has been tenuous, but I always thought he would snap out of it. He has the audacity to say "Well, I'm sure *you're* relieved to finally have an answer" to which I said "Um, no. I never thought you would actually do this. I had hoped that one day you would realize what you have. No, I am not relieved-I am sad, scared,angry and frustrated. I am especially frustrated because I view the marriage as VERY saveable. Even YOU said if we put the time in it could be great." He corrected me with this "I meant that if I made a *commitment* and we put the time in it could be great. I don't think spending time together in and of itself would make it great." Ouch.

One of my biggest objections is that he feels bored and like things are stale with us. So, during the time he is away, he will be hanging out with more people from work and trying different things. He said that he won't date anyone seriously, but does want to be able to "hang out" with women. Where i object especially is that he will be taking "Suzy Q" to go and do fun, new stuff instead of me. I will really pale in comparison, since I won't be getting the "credit" for the fun new stuff- I will still be 'boring and stale'. I did point out that this hardly seemed fair and he understood my point and agreed to do some fun stuff with me, too.

Anyone else out there think tht 2 months isn't enough time? I should I consider myself lucky?