WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing

[waw1978]

Ha! I go away for a few day and my thread locks. Imagine!

Okay so I am back!

Took a few days off from work & could not remember my login info so no posts through end of the week/weekend.

Journaling:

Wednesday night: Concert with H. Evening was tense but managed to make the best of it. I had a few glasses of wine and just treated him like he was one of my girlfriends. Tried my best to avoid any R talks and references and it worked rather well. There was one mention of the R and I just said “We are having a good time and I would rather not discuss that”. Case closed. All in all I think it was a very good night.

Thursday spent the night out with the girls. Unfortunately I had a nasty migraine that started when I met with an atty earlier that day to discuss the legal ramifications of my moving out etc. I don’t want to get accused of abandonment since I am the one leaving and several people have warned to protect myself in case H gets spiteful and tries to pull this if things don’t recover. Sorry I know this may sound premature but all of these well meaning folks in my life wanted me to be protected. The atty reassured me that it is possible but would be difficult for him to prove since I am in daily contact with him about D4, spending several nights at the home and still contributing the same $$$ to the household as I have been for years.

Friday was spent at the beach. Can I just say that Newport RI has some of the nicest beaches! Very good surf for the New England area. That night I went to another (pre-planned) concert with H. Brought my brother and uncle as a buffer but this turned out badly. I was avoiding R talks but my uncle had too much to drink and brought it up with my H and was basically pressuring us both to “kiss & make-up”. Needless to say, H got very upset and was pissy for the rest of the night since that’s exactly what he wants, us to just move on like none of the bad stuff ever happened. He also doesn’t want to do the work needed either. Just wants a free pass/clean slate and go on with our M as if all the negatives never existed.

Saturday AM was our MC meeting. Lots of deep topics discussed. H still not recognizing the damage he has done to me emotionally. The C is meeting with him on his own since we are not getting anywhere in the joint sessions alone because of H failing to recognize what he did to me and how hurt I am. Left there feeling drained and raw. Very sad. H is in some type of denial about his part in all this. He said he feels that its over. My heart broke. Also H’s whole family is in town so I have spent a lot of time as his parents Sat & Sunday saving face, so no one figures out we are in the midst of a separation. Very strange but H was appreciative since he knows I didn’t want to be there at all.

Had today off originally but couldn’t bear another day around his family so I came in to work.

How is everyone else? Did I miss all sorts of things on my short hiatus? I will be catching up on posts and helping where I can. Missed you all these past few days!