okay, its monday morning and I survived another night. had a dream about my college boyfriend, it was funny, he just showed up out of the blue while I was on the phone trying to reach H. I was so happy to see him, so thrilled. and then the kids woke me up. lol.
today will be day 7 no fighting. I will make it so. even though part of me is screaming right now, I'm holding on. he hasn't called yet this morning, odd for him, and makes me know that he must be with her/have spent the night with her. just 2 weeks go I would have called my MIL's house, where he is living, to say the kids wanted to say good morning. And I would have found out he wasn't there, and I would have been seething and crushed and would have been either passive agressive or straight out agressive with him when he did call later. I would have called his mom at work and hinted around about whether he was there or not. but nope, not gonna do it. nope.
still hurts, trying to pretend that maybe there is a chance he isn't with her and just busy/overslept/early conference call/golf tourney/whatever. And all that really could be. But still, ugh, this is so freaking hard.
But going to try to GAL. Off to swim lessons with the kids soon and will try to make some plans with the other moms, both with and without the kids.
that's all something, right? even when I feel like a total weenie, staying strong looks different, right?
Last edited by morgan; 07/16/0712:00 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
