she wants divorce but makes no move

[keepingittogethe]

It's been 10 months since she moved out, 8 months since she decided she wanted a divorce, and 6 months since she reiterated her decision. During the time I've tried lots of DBing techniques and have found much solace and enlightenment in my faith. It's amazing the things you learn when you're forced to deal with life with your eyes wide open. I told her, the person she is divorcing is no longer the person that I am.

She again repeated her decision 4 months ago, after we started talking nearly every day (very nice, cordial conversations), and even went out a few times on walks and hikes. One evening she texted me and wanted to say the she hoped I wasn't geting the wrong idea. That she hasn't changed her mind. Ouch. Since then I've made an effort to avoid her, but with bills, her mail, etc., we talk about 1-2 times per week.

Anyway, she doesn't ever bring up D, doesn't make a huge effort to avoid me (occasional text, email, etc.), and is always very nice when we talk. In fact, she just called me last week to see if I would show her how to change the oil in her car, and she accepted an invitation to a concert (she mentions she's not ready yet to do those things).

What I don't understand is that she has since stopped seeing her therapist, hasn't followed through w/ D, nor does she ever bring it up. In fact, it's as if she avoids anything having to do with our relationship. Just like when we were together and in a relationship. She has slipped back to the comforts of her family, like sticking her head in the sand.

She won't agree to seeing my therapist (we had gone twice, and she was not into it at all), says it's not something she sees as possibly being productive. I've been seeing my T weekly since 10/07 and have been working very hard to become someone who is aware of what a partner is, and we both see someone who is changing for the better. A different person with a different perspective on relationships.

It just seems she's avoiding everything about our relationship, and I'm just confused and...more confused. Some days I feel like I have all the patience in the world, and others I feel like I just want a resolution.