I understand the hurt and the anger. Weekends are the hardest for me too b/c he's here mostly. We don't see him much during the week (I have a D15 and a D12). Today was a tough one for me and I'm just sitting here stewing in my own juices for a bit.
I hope my prodding you does help (and if it doesn't by all means tell me to back off), I know I need it sometimes. It's too easy to get caught up in emotions and not think.
Granted he can't make you feel better (only you can do that), but re-framing some of this might help. For example recently my H called to say he wouldn't be home one night (was spending in with a male friend). I don't need to tell you where I went with all that. Bottom line was that Fixer (another poster here) told me to look at is as my H getting some much needed rest (we live quite a ways from his job). Believe it or not it helped me look at it from a different angle. Sometimes that's all I need, I just can't always do it by myself.
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but as it is I am the one who has to make the choice.
Try to look at it more like you GET to make the choice. I can't imagine how soul wrenching this is for you, but I am here to listen.
