Hi CK - I've seen your supportive posts around for a while, and thought it was time to catch up. You sounds like you are in a good place with your feelings. These situations are never easy. Nevertheless, you seem to have found some balance.
Originally Posted By: C_K
I ask him if hes going and he says " I wasnt invited ". I said go get yourself ready and told W when she turned up he wanted to go along. Told her hes feeling rejected, to which I get the answer " its not my fault , he should tell me when he wants to come along" . Anyhow they must have had some talk and S stayed Sat nite with W.
Kudos to you for brokering better understanding between them. Has W indicated that moving forward all invitations would include S16? I remember as a teenager, one of the things I responded to best was routine. Just knowing who did what, when and how it impacted me. Her coming and going as she pleases, as comforting as it may be during the transition, may in fact add to the kids' confusion.
Originally Posted By: C_K
I can't wait for that conversation if it ever comes. W " I want to come home" CK " what if I dont want you to come home ? "
Bet you feel liberated to even be able to think along these lines I had to chuckle at that. I recall going through a similar process as NG's affair was ending. It was a bit like drawing up a wish list, or fantasy mate. It was so much easier to spot the positives and affirm them once I knew what I wanted.
What kind of W would you like? Just as dbing has given you strength to navigate this difficult passage, it would have also changed your views on relationships and what you expect out of future ones, no? And WAs coming back to the fold, in my view, should be handled like new partners.
I had to chuckle at that. I recall going through a similar process as NG's affair was ending. It was a bit like drawing up a wish list, or fantasy mate. It was so much easier to spot the positives and affirm them once I knew what I wanted. 
Slowly
