my crazy mess

[christarn]

thanks...good advice, I just am getting nervous...we talked a lot, then had dinner last week, haven't heard from him since:( We discussed a lot of BIG stuff, what would have to happen if I came back, issues with our dogs, selling the house I purchased, finances....I just wonder if he needs some time...do I call or not???

[Trip]

Maybe call with a friendly hello and how are you.

[christarn]

so I tried to text him yesterday...i can tell he's resistant to talk...just said he was doing laundry...I tried to ask som more ?'s and he stopped texting....I don't know if he's pulling away because we talked so in depth last week....or what? There is also the factor that he is dating another woman/women...help...

[Steel_Box]

Patience christarn, Patience.
After this amount of time (8mo?) Don't expect him to be able to just saddle up and ride. IMHO if you both discussed alot of things, then he is obvioiusly willing to listen, But it will take a while to digest and sort through everything.
I know that if my WAW came to me right now and started to discuss gettting back together I would be elated, and then I would question everything from what I wanted now, to her motives. Just don't push him or I would suspect that he will just push back.

[Steel_Box]

Holy Irony batman.
W just called me and wants to know if we can go to MC when she gets back in town. Because since shes been gone she has realized that I'm still the one that she wants to talk to, and "Being gone has made her realize that even through this I've still been her best friend".

And Chris, just so you know, within those couple of minutes my insides flipped, my heart leapt, and my head said whoa... what about OM, and is this just because you're traveling with the kids by yourself and its hard? So, even though its what I /we all want, when it comes, you aren't necessarily ready for it.

Have faith and patience, and most importantly work on yourself.

[Gone Dancin']

christarn,

I agree that maybe backing off now and giving H time to digest your discussion is in your best interest. He knows where your heart is now, so wait a little bit and see what move he makes next. Show him your changes and someone who he would want to spend the rest of his life with. Get back to the core christarn -- bring back those things that attracted H to you in the first place; be that woman again (without sacrificing your principles and values).

Steel,

That is irony at its finest! Maybe I'll try posting something like that to see if the Irony Gods will throw a bone my way! Good luck, brotha!

GD

[Trip]

leave the texts be for now then. The moment you feel any sort of resistance from H, back off.

What are your goals for yourself, Christarn?

[christarn]

my goals: to find happiness within myself! I past him twice on the road today on our ways to work...he waved...so I text to say have a good day...and tell him how cute he still is driving the same truck he drove when we were dating 10 years ago....then we past eachother on our way back...just to say hope you had a good day. I also need to work on patience. I just know that there is OW involved and it scares me to death to know that is happening....the old me would have chased and chased and knocked her out of the picture....I don't want to push him away...believe me...but OMG this is so hard....I just want to call and ask if I said or did something wrong last week, I feel him pulling away...and oh does it hurt. We went from texting/talking two-three times a week and seeing eachother weekly to nuttin...havin some serious issues with that!

You guys are the best ever to talk to about all of this....Steel..I'm happy that your W wants to try...you'll be in my prayers...follow your own advice patience...I will listen to it to!!

hugs to you all for listening and being genuinly interested in my well being...it brings tears to my eyes literally to know that you all are here!! and I have some where to go and just talk!!

[Trip]

You need to make yourself be the best you can be. Keep working on you. Show him what he would be and is missing.

Stop texting him for a bit. Don't make any calls either. If you do see or talk to him be friendly and happy but leave the questions out of it. Be a little mysterious.

But most of all do something that is just for you. Something that makes you happy.

[Bling Bling]

I’m just going to throw a question out there. Do you think that you are having these “renewed” feelings for him because there is another woman now? Is it more of a jealousy thing or do you truly want him back for more pure reasons?