okay, its sunday night and I survived day 6, no fighting. have felt pretty good all day...until now. now I'm starting to sink. he did not call to say goodnight to the kids, so I'm guessing he's not only still with OW (assuming he's with her, anyway) but probably staying the night, too. ugh. ugh ugh ugh. god that hurts.
trying not to assume.
the one proud I have is that I haven't called him...last week I would have found a reason to call (they kids want to say goodnight, even if they didn't ask, or, the box you left on the porch is getting wet from the rain, do you want me to move it?, etc). So I'll hold onto that teeny tiny proud, and of course the no fighting one. and try to remind myself that even those prouds don't really mean anything more than what they are. they don't mean that we are back together, or even might someday be back together. hard, when I want that so much.
hope this gets easier. hope I get stronger. hope if he is with her, they are having a rotten time.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
