when to initiate sex after abstinence

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, here's my advice. JUST GO FOR IT. I don't know if I would even go home & apologize. Tonight, just go for it.

I never read the SSM book, but what I've read here, I don't necessarily agree w/ the HD/LD thing. I read the DB books b/c at the time, my H was deadset on D. What I can agree w/ is the tiredness, the kids, work, housework, dinner, etc., etc., but if you want to save your M, you are going to have to put that stuff aside.

I can tell you that, once you get started, you will enjoy too. You will realize that staying up in the evenings, spending time w/ H, talking to him and then going to bed and totally opening up to him sexually will become second nature. You will realize what YOU have been missing as well. Also, if you are a little or a lot inhibited sexually, push it down and try things you never thought you would. After awhile, you will become more adventurous and realize that you actually enjoy it and it may just turn you on even more.

That's my advice. BTDT, although like I said, my H was deadset on D. I was "rejected" more than a few times, but then I knew what it felt like. I never knew that every time I didn't want to have sex that he was feeling rejected. He never told me this until he was to the D point. Anyway, that's old news.

Like I said, JUST GO FOR IT. It may take awhile for him to warm up to you again. He may reject you a few times. But, if you truly want to save your M, you're going to have to get down & dirty and work hard. Patience is also the key. Just keep loving him, supporting him and showing him these things.