OK, gotchya. Yeah, isn't it funny how they can trust us?
Well, just had a C appt. We decided I was at about a 6 out of 10, if I started at zero and am working toward a 10 with how well I do with my interactions with H. He thinks it's really smart that I'm differentiating, and am able to be caring toward him the way I am. Basically, that I'm doing fairly well at being lovingly detached. I'm hangin' in the backyard with the dogs now, enjoying the mild weather this morning. Gonna work on my course online.
Hope you're all having a nice Monday.
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
I am certainly enjoying the weather! It ended up getting hot, and I had to put sunscreen on. Yes, Jules, I'm wearing a bikini. I'm on the final 3 sections of my course. 70% completed. I haven't been very productive on it today. I took care of some bills. Even texted my H asking him if it was possible he transfer or deposit a little money to cover everything. He said he could! That was a surprise. He said he'd do it today, so we'll see. I didn't mention our anniversary. Happy 13th me.
Anywho, a few weeks ago he had taken some money out (he had worked OT and took some of that out) and said he was saving it up for his own place so I thought if this is true he might be able to help this time. In the past I'd just take care of it somehow myself, even if I had to borrow the money. I also noticed that ever since he had gone to our bank and withdrew that money, he's been nicer. I know he had some checks printed for himself too, so I can't help but wonder if he didn't get a printout of all the activity and saw that I did in fact have to use all that tax return to pay bills, and that I had to move it around so that he wouldn't spend it first, AND that he really is the one spending all the money... and much more than he really has to spend.
I'm off to go meet my Mom for coffee. Catch ya all later.
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
F21. Same here. H spends all of the money. Digging himself a good hole again too. And to think, I am not there to blamed for it. He sees this and is mad at himself. Ha!
Enjoy your coffee and sorry about the anni. {{hugs}}
Hey! Thanks Trip, but nothing to be sorry about. I'm feeling great. Just quite happy. It feels good to be me, and it's really nice to be feeling this good today. I spent many days, including anniversaries, just not feeling this happy even though I was trying to... so I feel lucky to have H out of the house and away from me. He's not here to bring me down. Other people really can bring us down when they are depressed and we are around them too much. I am not feeling sad for him though or thinking he's just so down and out. I'm sure he is off getting his fix. I'm thinking maybe we were just not right for each other but tried to make it work. I feel like I'm reaching that place of acceptance more and more each day... thinking/feeling a bit more like the WAS again in order to really let go. I like feeling over him. I don't need to take it personally that he doesn't choose me. I'm a catch... probably just too much for him. OK, that felt good. LOL.
Anyway... yes, Trip... your H and mine are aLOT alike. Glad he's mad at himself. Do you think he is really upset with himself, and wants to change? My H acts like he's mad at himself, but I don't know how much of that is real or that those feelings last long if they are real. I think he just feels uncomfortable, and doesn't want to feel truly guilty or upset with his choices. So, back to digging that hole again... in more ways than one. So juvenile and such a destructive cycle. I say Grow Up! And I'm taking my own advice... growing up, and moving on up.
Ah, he texted me again. To tell me that it might be late tonight or early in the AM when he is able to deposit that money. We'll see if he really does. And he says happy anniversary. In a weird way I think..... "....It is the 16th. So i still remember. I say happy anniversary and i know it sounds bad but i dont mean it bad. Ok. Talk 2 u later. Love ya" I don't know if I'm gonna respond.
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
Yes you are a catch - and too good for him? Absolutely!!! I'm glad you're doing so well.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
"....It is the 16th. So i still remember. I say happy anniversary and i know it sounds bad but i dont mean it bad. Ok. Talk 2 u later. Love ya" I don't know if I'm gonna respond.
Hell no J, don't respond to that nonsense.... If he had simply said, " I know its a tough year, but happy anniversary" then maybe, but the underlying game in the way he put this, f^ck that. Don't respond to that nonsense.
It sends a way better message to be still, tells him that you are hunky dorey today, with or without him.
OK, that felt good. LOL.