D Busted...Now Back Here

[OneWish]

Ok, this wasn't really 'bad', but next time at lease turn and say 'Oh, Hello!' and then go about your business. Be sure to "SMILE AND WAVE"

I will continue to do this. Get in and get out quickly seems to get her thinking.

Now, I hope you told her that if she didn't stop yelling you WOULD hang up? Just 'hanging up' with no warning pisses people off, and is rude. Did you?

I did not warn her. I will in the future. I seem to be the only one thinking rationally and trying to be civil, whereas she is not.

I think you're 'done with this topic with her. In the future just remind her that SHE is the one who will not let go of the past. And that as long as she holds on to it, there can be no future for HER. No discussion, just statements.

This pushes buttons for her when I remind her that I can't change the past and she needs to let it go. She lives in the past and justifies her irrational actions by embellishing the past and telling people things about me.

ok, so think about a time when you were with her in the past where you felt really really good. Then next time you talk to her, mention this message and say:

"I thought about the message you sent me about people remembering how you make them feel, and when you and I were ____________ it felt really really good. I'll always remember that."

I will mention this message to her. I will see her tomorrow and I am sure that she may still be upset. Maybe I can state this on Wednesday to her. I don't know what her problem is!

SHE could not accept YOU back...." Now, this is where you have to shine. Now that you have told her what she does that is not acceptable to you in a relationship, namely the criticizing and raging she does when she's upset, you need to let her know that you won't get back together with her until she ALSO addresses her issues. YOU'LL address YOURS, she will address HERS.

She does need to address the tantrums and blaming. She does not argue fair. Always bringing up the past, etc. If we get the chance to address this, I will. Her problem is that she is not willing to try because she thinks I am the problem and she is perfect. She always said that she is the way she is because of me. I always pointed out to her that she is responsible for her own actions or reactions, NOT ME. She didn't like that statement.