Reconciling with ex-husband

[WAW in the OC]

He hacked my email pwd and I allow him to keep it so he knows I am honest. I call him to let him no when i leave my house. This does wear on me after awhile...esp when he got upset that I spent the day with my dad on the 4th of July instead of my ex.

Shilo_rt,

Welcome to our site. I must admire your courage to come here as most of us are the LBS's. My wife is currently having an A w/ OM 22yr old and we aren't even legally separated. We still live in the same house and she hasn't served me yet. She just gave me the verbal "I want a divorce" and thinks that's enough.

Anyway, I can completely understand your ex H's point of view I'm sorry to say. You must understand that an A is an A. Would you be able to trust him unconditionally if he had the A? What if you found out he had an A for the past year? Would it be easy to trust everything he says? You are doing the right thing by permitting him to see your e-mails and keeping him posted of your activities. These are only necessary if you truly want to get back together.

Right now I am fighting to save my M. If my wife comes to her senses I truly don't know how trusting I would be. When someone you've trusted w/ all your confidence breaches that trust, it is a very difficult road to repair.

In terms of letting him in your home the other night, if there was no fear of danger letting him see the proof would have solved the issue immediately. If there was still proof the bf was around, then your ex h's suspicion was justified. I am seeing it from the LBS pov so I know this isn't what you want to hear but it is what we are feeling considering what we've been through.
If you truly want your H's trust again it will take a long time. You will need to report in and answer questions constantly. If this isn't something you're willing to do for the sake of your relationship, then you need to move on.

Be sure you and your ex read the infidelity portion of DR. It addresses the feelings both of you will have if you want to get through this rough time.

You are very fortunate to have the opportunity to get back w/ ex. You both can work on the R and make it better than before but it will take some work on both parts. See if he is open to reading DR. It sounds like he still has strong feelings for you.