Brief recap: Me: 49, WAW: 46; three kids: D18, S16 and S10 Bomb: Discovered she was having an affair with a friend (former) of 18 years: July 05 August 05: Divorce motion filed Sept 05: Provissional order- me out of the house, I pay everything, std. visitation rights Jan 06: Mediation fails. She wants 60% of everything in cash. Retirement accounts, ect. I would re-start life way in the hole. She does concede equal split on parenting time! Sept 06: Trial for divorce is called off due to my witnesses not being able to attend (teachers and first day of statewide testing). I am given primary physical custody of S16, and a reduction in child support of $6.00! I continue to pay everything else. Feb 07: My attorney fires me because I claim he has done nothing but rack me for $13,000.00 in legal fees. April 07: I miss a pre-trial court date because I no longer have (or can afford) legal representation. Judge rules court date of Sept 5th and 6th (2 day trial) cannot be changed and the court will make final decision on that date. May 25th: Trial to continue spousal support until date of final hearing. Spousal support had terminated at the end of April. I represented myself. I receive the notice on June 10th that the judge ruled that I was to continue to pay spousal support June-Sept, however I would receive a direct 50% credit against the marital assets for this. I call WAW and tell her to stick it up her ---. I was done paying everything. I was broke. July 6th: Trial for contemptofcourt charges. I represent myself. I make a house payment the morning of the trial. I submit this to the judge, as well as state the house payments are current. Prior court order does not state that I was to pay the May house payment. Judge rules I am not in contempt of court, but I must pay the June through Sept house payments.
Maybe not so brief. Anyway, my question to any of you that can help:
How do you get past the anger over what she did? How do you get past the anger of watching your kids go down hill (I caught my S16 smoking pot with 3 friends in my house 2 days ago. He also flunked every class he took his Freshman yr. H.S.) All of our kids speak to both of us defiantly)? The divorce has polarized the family. D18 never stays with me. S16 never stays with her. S10 splits time evenly. How do you get over the anger of seeing your kids lose their relationship with their parents? How do you co-parent with someone you blame for screwing up all of our lives? How do you quit loving someone you have spent 28 years of your life with (even after what she has done)? How do you get over wanting to drive 4 hours and beat the [censored] out of a home wrecker?
These are just a few of the most important questions I am dealing with. Today marks the 2 year anniversary of the discovery of the emails and the affair. Two years. Wow. And I still can't make any sense out of what is going on.
