Hi Shiloh! Welcome...I hope that you will find as much help and encouragement here as I have.
I admire your frankness in stating your situation. And I think you'll find that many people will be interested in a very much longer version: that's because, I guess, a lot of us are seeing our marriages fall apart from the standpoint of your ex. We haven't been innocent bystanders in the process, but our spouses have chosen someone else. So it's truly interesting to find out how it happens that one partner drifts so far away.
I sort of have the impression that you don't like being pushed into making a choice. Maybe you feel that your ex hasn't come to see his own part in the divorce? The way I see it, he can't really be responsible for your lack of attraction to him, but he is certainly responsible for chatting up the bimbo (I mean, the girl staying in your house) to the point that you felt jealous, and probably had reason to be.
It's easy to see your side of it, and to understand your mixed emotions. But it's starting to sound like A Streetcar Named Desire around your place (!) so I hope the new day will bring calmness to everyone...
You might want to drop by Sara's thread. She and her husband went to a sort of intensive marriage counseling retreat called retrouvaille, and it completely turned her M around.
(Where's Sara when you need her? Saaaaaaaaaa-raaaaah!!!! Saaaaaaaaaaa-raaaaaa!!! Come help!)
I really want things to work out for you--and I think that they will! Take care of yourself, and PLEASE keep checking in. It sounds like both you and your ex both want very much to be together, but in a different marriage...
