I would like to address last Thursday night. I lost it, I let anger, one of issues she upset with take hold. It drove the bus and it wasn’t pretty. I let the mind go, and posted some pretty messed up stuff. For that I would like to apologize to the board and thank those of you that helped bring the landing gear out and bring this trip down. I’m sorry!
No need to be sorry, brotha -- we all need to vent and this is a great place to do it. I apologize too -- I might've been more harsh and less empathetic than I should've been.
Okay, that being said, I'm going to rehash some of what I said in my last big post on your former thread. It sounds like you continued to play detective with the phone calls. I understand it is difficult not to, but now that you did and a Motel 8 number popped up, does the knowledge do you any good? Can you use it in any positive way to get you closer to your goals? I'm guessing we both know the answer to this. Has it given you more stress than you would've had otherwise? I'm guessing this answer is known to both of us too. Please, Atlas, do yourself a favor and detach from the detective work. When my W moved out and go her own apt, do you know how much I went over there to check on her to see what she was up to? Never. What's more, I never even asked her or her friends to tell me where it was (I knew the complex, but never which building or number). Even after it came out due to legal things, I never went and checked it out. I've never once been there, and that has helped me a great deal (mostly because of how proud I am of myself and my conscious choice to not control her in any way). Also, since she's been seeing OM and staying at his house, I've never once inquired about where he lives, and have never attempted to go there either. Doing so would simply eat me alive, and I know this. Atlas, you know this about your own sitch too, so please -- for your own sanity and general health -- refrain from doing it. You are strong and you've done so well in all other areas. Don't let this be your cryptonite, my friend.
On another note, who knows what the heck the woman taking pics is doing, and if you aren't doing anything to get yourself in trouble, then just don't worry about it (develop that duck's back, remember?). It is strange, but let neighbor guy focus on it now (sounds like his life can use the drama rather than yours!). Think about this -- you took her license plate # down. You're creating more drama than you should been dealing with right now. You're getting like me too in the fact that you're taking a little bit of info and over-analyzing it. Too much wasted energy my friend, because in the end you still don't know.
Quote:
I’ve really calmed down and decided that I can’t control ANYTHING, but me and the time S has with me.
Now that is real and 100% true!
Much love, Atlas -- I think I was probably a little too harsh again, but you're a much better DBer than your last post demonstrates. I know this because I've seen it. You're having weak moments and are letting them dictate your actions. Stay focused on the DBing and you'll know what to do.
