If you do not want a D, DO NOT make it easy for her. As far as her A and the OM, my opinion is that you have to let her "figure it out" and stop the A. I don't think you not doing anything about it is going to be seen as being a chump.

You have small children I noticed. What does she say about them?

Patience here is the key. Keep DB'ing. Let her see the man she fell in love with and that she would not want to lose.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10