Good for you in getting your post started again...
I just wanted to comment on the fantasy thing...you are totally correct in that it causes damage to relationships...it takes away from the person you are with...I know because my H got into this big time...I believe he is out of this now but really it is his "demon" to deal with...
I have been fortunate in that I am the type who has "real" fantasies...about my H...and then I usually would like to act upon what I fantasize about...but with his health issues of late that isn't too possible...but my yearning is for him and I keep the focus there...
I think to with the mind being such a powerful tool...like learning to eat healthy we can learn to think healthy...that is why I keep reminding you to focus on H...his good qualities...whatever attracted you to begin with...anything that is positive...eventually your heart will follow your mind...
Also, concerning your D and her knowledge of things...I think it might be worth your while to have a good heart to heart with her...express your remorse...express your admitance to making a HUGE mistake...but let her know that by her finding out it shamed you back to your senses...then let her know what you plan on doing...and how you have cut off communication with any of the men online...and that you intend on fixing you and then fixing the marriage...let her know how greatful you are to have a H like her father...one who is willing to give you another chance...and the time to heal...I think this will help your daughter understand...and I would also ask her forgiveness...I know for my D it was important that her dad did that with her...and she was a "daddy's girl"...it is really hard to explain the dynamics that take place when a parent disappoints a child in such a way...at least you can take solice in that you didn't follow through on your words...although to H and D that might not seem like a lot...I used to think that nothing could hurt me as much as the EA that my H had previously...I thought that had it been PA it would have hurt as much...how wrong I was...
I do hope you can clear things with her soon and start feeling like you can be a family comfortably...
I still think you should call the bank and talk to them about the overdraft charges...it can't hurt to ask (beg and plead)...I have done this in the past and after explaining the situation the person on the other end finds compassion for my situation and authorizes the charges to be reversed...this can be a huge burden lifted off of you in the financial arena...
Take care...know that you are doing a great job and hey...over a week now!...and counting...you can do this!!!
