Johnny, Yeah, this is hard stuff alright, but stuff that has been brought upon yourself by you. I can't imagine you have allowed your wife to dictate your entire life for the past 20 years of your marriage, let alone she putting up with you for a 20 year marriage. Where is your backbone? You have been on the mlc board for months now playing the pity me game. Why is your mil not in a rehab facility if she is so bad off? My uncle, after having a stroke of his own spent months in rehab before coming home. My friend's father is still in a rehab home after nearly 2 years of stroke recovery. They simply don't allow the patient to come home without sufficient care. Both of you work. You need to have fulltime at home, round the clock care as provided by medicare/medicaid. If you don't have it, inquire about it. Your mil is of the age to qualify.
You have been given many suggestions to improve your lot at home. Number one is cutting the ow out of your life. That includes lunch. One day you say she's out of your life, the next day you're jealous because she talks about another man. You need to concentrate on your own marriage and not complicate it further with someone else. You are most definitely in a crisis mode and the sooner you seek help the sooner you will get to the root of the problem, and no, your wife is not 100% the problem as you've said before.
