Hi all. I wanted to hear from the men here. As we know, images of naked women filter the Internet, magazines and films. Do you think this is adultery if you lust after someone other than your wife?
Plz do not think I am typecasting every man. Like a cat, I am curious.
I don't think it is adultery. Adultery involves a physical or emotional connection. It's not likely that somebody would become emotionally connected to an two-dimensional image.
I will say, however, that this behavior can be destructive to a relationship. It was for mine. This was many years ago, and I have since kicked the awful habit...
You got me thinking. Christians believe that lust of the heart = adultery. Beyond that, a man who looks at a centerfold or webcam is usually masturbating? This is a physical connection. Also, salivating over a pic is a physiological reaction. The wife is forsaken. This can drive a couple apart.
I know women who feel inadequate due to the image portrayed in the media. I am happy you have kicked the habit.
Why go from pic to pic, or stripper to stripper? Protect your marriage. You chose your wife for a lifetime.
I don't think of it as adultery. Men seem to be more visual for the most part. Looking is only that, it's what you would do if it was possible to become more than that. If the chance arose and you would take it then your emotions are setting you up for an adulturous relationship.
When my heart closes up then the eye candy becomes appealing.
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
I think the answer is yes and no. Is going to a strip bar adultery? Is looking at online porn? Is porn watching adultery? I think, IMHO, that if it interferes with the dynamic of the relationship and causes problems, it is adultery. When it becomes an addiction it is. I don't condone it, but like C2 says, men are visual and some like to look.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Hi all~ Firstly, thanks for posting. Nice to hear from you. I wish you the best in whatever stage you are in the D.
Yes, men seem to be more visual, and women more emotional. Men like to watch, and women love to talk. La di da.
Points: -If needs are not met, the heart closes up, and the distraction, more appealing. -Boundaries should be set on what is tolerable. -Addictions are unhealthy.
Trip- Webster's Dictionary defines lust as: "An intense longing, craving." Some men say that it is lust if they masturbate. Others say that porn is fantasy, perfectly okay, and natural.
My aim was to involve your opinion on this. I wanted the male point of view.
If looking at porn is a replacement for actual contact with one's spouse, then of course it is a problem. For me, I could make love to my wife and then look at porn two hours later while she is sleeping. Then I'd want to make love to her again. Not that it was an option.......
I never looked at online porn when the sex was frequent, it was only when it was in the "once in a blue moon" phase. Does that make it right? Who knows. Taking spiritual beliefs out of it for now, it is wrong when one's spouse has serious objections to it, but you keep doing it anyway. I'm guilty of that, but didn't understand it at the time. My wife looks as good physically as most of the women in the pictures, better actually. However, she has some serious body image issues and thought I was drooling over very young women, which only made her own issues worse. That was horrible of me, and it drove a pretty big wedge between us. Funny though, she didn't mind the occasionaly video to watch in the bedroom while we were........you know.
I think a lot of guys look at it because it is there. Simple enough. Again, we're visual. Of course there are bigger issues. It's one of the biggest industries around, heck, porn built the internet. What degredation are we supporting? Anyone think the women (and men for that matter) are in this industry by choice? Doubtful. These women are somebody's daughter whose life took a terrible turn somewhere, and by viewing the images, or more so, paying for access, we are perpetuating the problem. Just another way to look at it.
For me, I can say I find it stimulating, I can admit that. I'm very visual and very sexual. However, I'd always rather have the real thing and porn would never, ever replace that. Now if I could just get my wife back, I'd be on the right path. But that's a whole 'nother story.
My aim was to involve your opinion on this. I wanted the male point of view.
Why does a moderator want a male point of view on this? What does this have to do with the very real issues of infidelity that people on this forum are dealing with.
Men and women have been using visual and literary pornography to masturbate since time began - I can see no point making it into a thinly veiled issue about men's morality on this forum.
I think this is really out of line for a Moderator.
Virginia
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
