It's nice that you are feeling better in relation to your W, but in order for things to work, I think you need to have NO contact what-so-ever with OW. Even casual emails are not a good idea. It doesn't matter if you are blatently rude to her or not. She has a H and you have a W.
Sorry your evening with W didn't happen. I wouldn't take it too personally though. New babies can be quite a draw. I sure wouldn't miss an opportunity to play with one, especially when it's a grandchild. Just my opinion.
