when to initiate sex after abstinence

[needlove]

Hey all. I'm a bit new here as I've just discovered the SSM. I hope you can shed some good light/advice my way.

In a nutshell, my H and I are having a problem with sex so much so that now we aren't having any and I'm afraid we could be heading for the big D. On Easter he dropped the bomb that he didn't know if he loved me anymore because of this. Then a few weeks later he said he didn't even want to have sex with me. His feeling is that we have always had this problem (roughly 10 years) and I've done nothing to fix it while he's tried alternate solutions (toys, etc)

All the other aspects of our M seem fine. This is our one major issue. I really do love my H and I need to find a way to reconnnect to him. We haven't had sex for almost 3 months as we've had lots of hurt feelings - both of us. I feel like I'm ready to let go of the hurt and start over but I don't know if he is.

I've been reading the SSM book and we fit in there completely. What I need to know is how do I approach this topic with him? What do I do? Just be nicer and hope that things will fall into place? When is the right time to have sex after such a drought? Do I just follow Michele's advice and Just Do It? And what if he doesn't want to?

Comments? Questions? Anybody's who's been there done that please advise...