Here is the sitch: WAW has ongoing EA/PA w/OM for 9 months. He lives ~300 miles away, and is a colleague of hers. They have been sneaking around, getting together at quarterly meetings, and occasionally meeting halfway. She has stated in no uncertain terms she wants D. I have been DBing for about 6 weeks. I am completely in love with my wife. I have told her that, in spite of the ongoing affair, I have forgiven her completely. She thinks this, along with DB'ing is me being manipulative.
Day before yesterday, she said that she is going to move forward soon with the divorce, and asked me whether I would cooperate in filing the paperwork. Well.... should I?
OK, so I responded over the next 36 hours by continuing LRT - especially PMA. I was cheerful and nice, and went so far as to make her a special salad to go with her dinner.
So, two days later she said that her statement that she is going forward with D has had no affect on me. Asked what are you talking about? She replied that I am being EXTRA nice to her... I replied that I am a nice person. She then announced that she is going on two business trips... she didn't state that it was with OM, but I know it is. I didn't blow up... I just said "have fun" and left the room (I did slam the door on way out). I think that in telling me this she is putting the nail in the coffin... her thinking is that her being open about being with OM will anger me to the point that I will concede to D. Wrong. My plan is to continue DBing via LRT.
OK, so here is the second question: Part of DBing is to show WAW somebody who she would not want to leave. So does my effort to become this person include being somebody who would sit idly by as she waltzes off for overnite encounters with OM? Why would she want to be with a chump like that?
And what level of voluntary participation should I offer her in filing for divorce (dissolution)?
