I understand you miss ow..the fun and exitment of the relationship..the mere simplicity and relaxation of it..it's like being told you can't play with "that" friend anymore when you were a kid...doesn't feel very good..but as you pointed out in this post..playing with that friend doesn't make you feel very good does it.
please don't ever take my words to you as an attack as they are never intended that way...I do understand how you feel...
imagine if you can how that guilt you feel about spending time with or thinking about this ow..stay with you and then effect the way you react or act to your w...the simplest request can come off as nagging...the smallest responsibilty can become a burdon...I'm not saying life should suck and be a mass of responsibility and all that...but imagine if you didn't have this guilt..would life be so bad. I can't imagine that your w could really be all that bad...I'd imagine she herself is under some pressure in dealing with her mother...after all life is not all about you.
I'm glad you've decided to stop seeing ow..please stop blaming her for the r you had with her..that would be like an alchoholic blaming the bar tender or the druggie blaming the drug dealer...you are resposible for you...glad that you left her home that evening...but honestly you knew what you were getting into accepting her invitation in the first place...I could go home with a man everynight if I chose to really wouldn't be hard all I'd have to do is go out...would I be able to blame the man if I accepted his advance?? don't think so I am responsible for me no one else is...accept responsibility for your actions..don't try to put the blame on this needy ow.
does w work? does w work nearby? is it possible for you to meet with her for lunch instead? going for a walk is a good idea but perhaps you could (if possible) use the time to get to know w on a different level...away from the house the repairs and the mil..a relaxed atmosphere...at first it may not be something you want to do..but after a while you might just find yourself enjoying eachothers company..
