Well Snods, it's the temptation ow presents. Your right on the attention aspect. BTW, I ran out of St. Johns Wort, so I just wont replace it. Kava does in fact help me sleep and relax. That stuff really works. It takes about an hour or two to kick in but I get your point on mixing things. It's kind of like putting kerosene with your gas in your car. Some things are good by themselves but not intended to be used together. Right? See I have my marbles about me today.:)
Back to ow, in August I melted down terribly during a little nature hike I took and she insisted on going. We got quite close in the summer heat. When I was accidentally touching her hand on one occassion, she didn't pull it away and the touch rippled through me and gave me chills. Well, from that point on I was looking at her quite differantly. It was that night that, as we parted, she asked mye to come to her place for drinks and later i found my favorite food awaited me (maybe by cooincidence). That was a reality check right then and there and my common sense and morals told me STOP and think about this and if its right, when your head is clear, you'll come back to it. In the days shortly after I got quite ill without being able to eat or sleep or concentrate on anything but her; 'Love bug" or more like 'infatuation bug' Well, the ensuing friendship just was fantastic, utterly fantastic. However things got more and more attached. She began feeding me and lunching every single day and stopping by my office when I didn't stop by hers and we caried on, got our jobs done and had a blast. This was before MIL's stroke mind you. Then she got a job transfer to another building on a carreer move that fit with her recently acquired degree. We then lunched a few times a month but then began heavy emailing. I then strived to keep this contact going, and I guilty as hell of that because by then MIL's situation unfolded. Well, you think I had my hand in the cookie jar? Well, the cookie jar was handed to me but I sure didn't need to put my hand in it and I did, yes I did. Well, her and I exchanged xmas gifts and all was still nice and she got a new home with her H. Her H is not the handiest guy and I offered my help to them still having this looming affection for the lady. Her and her H were apart during the initial start of this relationship unbeknowst to me, which is what set all this in motion to begin with I think, but I am not saying I'm not wrong here. Well, as I sit here I was just asked what my lunch plans were by the secretary (on of the group) and ow was not mentioned. So I wonder who she is lunching with now, while I'm blowing her off, and what activities could I be doing with her and bla bla bla. Well, it's bad news and I certainly have enough troubles of my own wihtout making them worse. This snods is where my mind wants to cross back into the bad. My lunch plans are to take a walk and go to the local shop. A feeling of "oh crap" is coming over me as I sit here but, a weekend is coming and another two days of no contact can be obtained very easily for me. Take care all, I have work to do.
