SM, I'm glad to hear of the reconciliation of your R. I can understand your concerns about going back to old patterns. I worry about you holding onto resentment, which will hamper piecing efforts.
Can you identilfy any positives in the R? Is there anything that you or your W are doing differently? What were your W's concerns about the M?
I can understand your concerns about division of labor, and money stressors. Don't let these problems take-up too much of your energy. Do what you can to solve the problems, and then accept the rest. Work on building the positives in the M, otherwise your M will be vulnerable for another crisis.
Be careful of the opinions you form of your W. Empathy, listening, and goodwill will get you a lot further than judgment. As far as her imperfections (you describe selfishness), set limits when you need to, otherwise accept her for who she is, and help her to grow with your support and being a role model by working on your own happiness.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
