Hey girl, Your last few posts are very logical and analytical. Of course you recognize the areas and the "why" of things that are happening.
Okay - you got that half of your brain in gear. Now how about the other part? What is your plan to get the emotional side in gear? What actions or "exercises" can you do to get that side of you to "believe" what the logical side is saying?
I think there is an internal conflict going on. Get in touch with it b/c that is how we grow.