You hit the nail on the head! The challenge in turning this around is that she is also very good at burying her emotions when she is scared, even to me. Her insecurities are her own worst enemy and I have exhausted myself trying to build her up over the years. When we have no conflict, she is very loving and supporting like no other person in my life, but...when she is feeling down she takes her feelings out on me in little ways until we have a blowout. I have accepted my responsibility for not controlling my own emotions at this point, but it seems we never get past the point where she is convinced that my "temper" is the problem, and where she admits that her won temper is usually the first to flair. As long as I agree with her and enable her destructive patterns, we get along great, and I admit that I have lost my patience for this cycle. I have told her since the split that I am here for her both emotionally and financially, but she says she needs nothing from me. I know she feels alone and scared and it breaks my heart to know that I let her trust down by threatening the D. I fear she will never trust me again, but despite her own misgivings, she does give me love and support like I have never received. She says she just doesn't have it in her to do the "work" anymore, but we have only been married for less than a year! I know if she lets this end, she will walk away feeling even more of a failure in life, and that seems to be her biggest enemy already. She is a wonderful woman with so much to give, but no matter how I seem to go about it, she constantly doubts that of herself to the point where it has consumed our life. I am crying just thinking about her and how she is really feeling underneath all of this. How do I rebuild that trust while she is away and in denial without contacting her or pushing her away? I am afraid that too much 180 will send her further away as she will think I have given up on her.
