On the outs of an EA and I'm down

[job]

Charcoal,
There is nothing going on between Johnny and myself. I have been reading his postings on Michele's board for over 2 months and his other postings on the Mid-Life Forum. I didn't post to him until Feb. 14th when I was sure that something was seriously wrong. I am concerned about his mental health. On the Mid-Life Forum, his writing style is very professional, a very knowledgeable man who writes without typographical and/or grammatical errors. He comes to the Divorce Busting Board in a matter of days and his writing style is totally different--typographical and grammatical errors and his mouse and keyboard have nothing to do with it. This drastic change in writing style sends up red flags to me. Either his meds are too strong or too weak. He never mentions seeing a professional to help him sort things out. Yes, he talks about setting up an appointment, but he never does. On his other thread, he's talking about taking St. John's Wort and Kava for depression. That's a big mistake if he's on AD's. I don't want to see him have a heart attack any more than anyone else does, but he's not listening to what the posters are telling him he needs to do. It takes two to make a marriage. If one isn't aware of what is going on, it is up to the other to sit down with that person and talk to them. From what I have gotten out of his postings, they never appear to have the time to actually sit down and discuss the problems in a rational manner. He needs to see a therapist alone and so does she before they can actually sit down together with one. They both have issues, however, we are only hearing his side of the story. Constantly talking about the problem will not help it go away. He continues to complain about his situation, but nothing ever appears to happen. People have given him suggestions about his mother-inlaw and I know others have told him to sit down with his wife and talk about the situation. There's nothing more any of us can do. We can listen till the cows come home, but it's not going to resolve his issues. No one is trying to "fix" him, but he's the one that came to us looking for guidance with his issues. It's up to him if he wants to continue to live in a stressful situation. However, he will have to be the one to make the first move in getting professional help for himself. Sometimes that's the way it has to occur. If the stress continues to build and his personality continues to pinball, I shudder to even think that he may harm himself. I care about each and every poster that is on this board. When I see that they are stressed or are writing in a strange manner, from their usual writing style, I get very concerned. The only fix for this man's problem is to see a professional and leave the married ow alone.

Johnny,
It is up to you if you wish not to post again. Just know that people do care about you. We wouldn't be coming down so hard on you about the ow, your marriage and seeking professional help if we didn't care. I will say one thing, had you stayed on the Mid-Life Forum, I can almost guarantee that the posters over there would not have put up with all of your complaining and your not taking responsibility and doing something about your situation. The posters over there are not as sympathetic as the posters here. I know, I'm a member over there too and have seen how they come down hard on people. They are less forgiving. I truly wish you the best and hope that you will take what I have written and think about it. You've got a good head on your shoulders and a very kind heart, but you have to start thinking about your physical and emotional well being. If you don't take care of yourself, no one will. Please seek professional help and soon. If you can't make an appointment immediately, go to your agency's Employee Assistance Program office for help. It's free and they will help you and it's confidential!