H coming today, what do I do when he asks how I am

[SallyM]

okay, no more lying, I promise. lying is his domain, anyway, I'd rather not start.

just got off the phone with him...called to say good morning to the kids. sounds like he had a rough night and he's in a bad mood, but other than say to him, "you sound tired" I didn't ask or push. that right there is huge for me, the stepping back. the kids sounded good, though. and I did...I was nice and upbeat. and I realized about an hour after he left last night just how I should have responded when we were talking about my date with his grandmother. when he said his ears would be burning, instead of acting with too much bravado (oh, we'll have other things to talk about, etc) I should have laughed and asked if he was nervous. teasing, sort of. it would have been what I would have done years ago, it would have been more playful, and also more sincere. so this morning when we talked about it briefly I did, and it felt better. I felt better.

so nothing's really changed, but so far 5 days with no fighting, at least if we can make it thru today, and I think we can. I just need to guard myself while out with his grandmother. I need to keep the same demeaner with her, because anything I tell her will get back to him. so I'm going to be upbeat and fun and keep things on a good level. wish me luck!