Charcoal, Yes, you are experiencing a third life crisis. Some people would call it an identity crisis or an MLC. You've recognized your symptoms and you apparently are trying to figure things out. You will work through your concerns one by one. Please stay away from the internet relationships. They will destroy what you have at home. If you can't kick the internet addiction on your own, please seek the assistance of a group, quite similiar to AA in this area of addictive personalities. Pleaes give your husband and marriage a chance. The grass really isn't any greener on the other side. If you would like to chat further, I'm over on the mlc forum. You can find me there. You and the other posters are welcome over there too. I commend you for recognizing your problems and facing them. It's not easy to do sometimes.
Johnny, No one has called you a liar. I've called you on several issues that you have been extremely vague about since you began posting on Michele's Forms in December. You have a tendency to "drop" hints of things and never come back to explain what those hints are. You have given everyone the impression that the OW was chasing after you. Maybe she was in the beginning, but I don't see where you were discouraging her one bit from what you've posted. Do you not know what the words "No, I'm not interested, thanks any way" mean? Here you are now doing the chasing and it appears that her pursuit has cooled down quite a bit. You both are adults and one of you needs to stop the merry go round before others in both families get hurt in the process. Have you ever stopped and wondered just how your attitude may have contributed to the problems in your home right now? We are only hearing one side of the story and if you get this upset every time someone questions you about something, I can just imagine what a real prize you are to live with. Take a moment, go look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself this, "what have I done to contribute to the breakdown of my marriage?" True, there is a lot of stress in your home right now, but I can't imagine anyone talking about their ill mother-inlaw the way you have. You should be ashamed of yourself. She can't help the fact that she's had a stroke and now needs to rely on your family to help her until she's able to live on her own. You have remodeling projects in your home that haven't been completed. I can just imagine how your w feels about walking around projects that haven't been completed. What about the stairs? Are they in your home or your father's? One day they are in your home and the next you are stating they are in your father's place. Johnny, you stated that you were on meds. You not only need the meds, but you need to be seeking the assistance of a professional. You need to be speaking to a professional about all of your issues and problems. Your world is part reality and part fantasy. All mlcers have a fantasy world they escape to. All that we can do is listen and offer up suggestions, which you haven't acted upon. Yes, I'm going to smack your hands because you need to stop contacting the OW and take care of yourself both mentally and physically. What about the internet and the chatrooms? You've admitted to almost having an EA w/someone in the chatrooms. That's a no go too. Here you are not only on this thread, but on the mlc thread wanting people to post to you off the board. From what I've seen, mostly women post to you on your threads. Johnny, please do yourself a favor and schedule an appointment today with a professional. You have a long standing marriage and I would hate to see you screw up and lose your w and family over this fantasy life you are attempting to live. OW are not the answer to the problems that you are experiencing at home. You can do something about the problems at home if you really wanted to try to work on them. Coming here constantly whining about the problems will not resolve them. You have to take action to correct them. Okay? You have heard this same advice repeatedly and you aren't doing anything to remedy your stressful situation. Do you enjoy living this way and whining about how horrible your home life is? I would think you would want to get to the root of your issues/problems and find a happy balance both at work and at home. Think about it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
