I've not read your mlc threads and to be honest with you listening to what you say here you don't really sound like you are in mlc anyway...but that is just my opinion...you sound more like a man who's marriage just isn't going the way he wants it to go...etc...
re the issue of ow...I know you miss her...want to talk to her etc...but if you sit and think about it honestly would ow really end up being all that different from w..the thing you have to keep in mind when dealing with an a ea pa or otherwise when you are not commited to them or they to you there is a freedom in that r..you are free to be you without being judged, you don't have to be defensive angry, hurt etc...because there are no expectations of that r...it is a fantasy that we all are capable of getting caught up in.
if you have made the descision to stay with w and work on you m...you have to actually work on your m not just keep your cool and try to live with her doing that in the end will not work.
you must reflect on you and the r...it's more than just the what you want and what she wants it the how does this all work...
since you are the one who has read (I hope) dr then you are the one who should understand the butterfly effect..
think about why w nags etc...I don't think women nag just because they are bitches it's typically a result of something else (and I don't mean pms)
anyway I have a whole lot running through my head right now and most of it is only based on what is in this thread (which isn't a whole hell of a lot) and my own sit.
of course ow isn't going to vanish from your thoughts probably never will..but when you focus on making your r with w better you will find the ow taking up less and less space in your mind heart or wherever she is..
so then instead of just keeping your cool and living with w..what goals do you have to make your r with w such that you WANT to live with her???
LL
one other thought does w know of this ea ow??? take a look at my thread over in piecing if you'd like to have an idea of how simply you may avoid the nagging!
