And, yes, I feel terribly guilty just w/ the little that happened and scared that H may find out. I'll now have to live w/ that. BUT, I'm now going to do the right thing.
Good for you. A conscious, purposeful decision not to engage in something you know is wrong is very admirable. Like NOPS said, your reaction to his advances is normal. Your decision to stop it is a reflection of your good character.
I understand you not wanting to say anything to H....however. How close of a "friend" is this guy to your H? He is no friend, that much is clear to me. If your H is in a position to be affected by this fact, I DO think you should tell him. If he was just an acquaintance, not so much. My opinion.
My H travels a lot. I know how it feels to be left alone to take care of things. It's lonely and it sucks. Just try to find peace in the fact that it won't be forever-look forward to your trip to see him and hopefully it will be downhill from there. Keep yourself busy, take care of yourself. You're doing great.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
