Trying to make it work

[soul_mate]

I have not posted for months, but still stop in and read every no and then. For those of you that remember me I would like to thank you all for the help that was so much needed this year. Without the help of everyone here who knows where I would be today.

As for my situation I will give a short run down of it. Separated from wife for 3 weeks in Dec 06 Jan 07. Before this we were having serious problems for months. Wife said she was not in love with me and wanted it to be over. Our first break through was in March when she suprisingly agreed to go on our trip to Mexico that was planned months ago. After the trip she told me she wanted to work on our marriage and and told me she loved me. She has been up and down with her love towards me since the trip. So far this year I coutinue to be a model husband and continue to do the things I did not in the past. During this time I have also wondered about her texting OM, which is less of a concern now, but still bothers me a little.

Here is where we are today.
She has told me that the main thing that made her come back to me was our children, although she is glad that she did come back. I still wonder if she is really glad or is it only for the children. When we have a R talk she still tells me that it takes time and she is not over everything yet.

I still feel that she is selfish in many way. I do alot of work around the house and do things to make her happy, but don't always feel appreciated. Funny thing is this was always her complain about me that I did not appreciate her. I guess I want the seemingly impossible for us to both feel appreciated and loved.

She is not very loving towards me and sex is infrequent. Although there are time where she is loving and sex is often. For the past month there has not been much of anything and it is driving me crazy. I do my best to control myself and overall do a good job I think. I have mentioned this to her, but it just seems to make her mad so I try to hold out and hope things improve. I worry about getting back into the rut that we were in before all this.

Money continues to be a problem and she does not want to deal with it so I feel left with the burden.

I still have a difficult time completely trusing her even though I don't think she is having any kind of affair. She is attractive and I know guys are always coming on to her.

Anyway I just wanted to make a post I know my situation could be a lot worse, but I am still struggling and wanting to make a great marriage.