One thing I have never done is to snoop. I see my plate as being way to full right now and I'm not going to be the one that goes looking for something else. I did inadvertently come across a charge for one of those "dating" websites on a credit card bill (I was actually checking on a charge I had made). I understand your anger and your despair. I know this has been devestating. I would caution you not to snoop though. If you are concerned as to wheter or not he's lying to you, just check to see if he's breathing. If he is, he's probably lying. I know this sounds harsh and like I don't have much/any hope. You would be wrong there. I absolutely believe, in love, in marriage in happily ever after. Perhaps I'm just another born romantic. I'm also a realist. I believe you when you say you "know" he loves you and wouldn't want to spend the rest of his life without you. You have to believe too.
I'm glad you have a C that is into DB and you're right it's alot of work. This bb is such a great place though. Come here to vent or just for laughs (yes, even through the tears if need be).
If it helps at all I think of my H as Captain Insane-O (complete with tights and cape flapping in the wind). I don't know for sure if he's in MLC, I just know that I need to muster all the compassion I can for him (otherwise, my anger would probably take over and that wouldn't help anyone esp. me) in his anger and despair. I'm sure you see it in your H too.
I hope you C session goes well for you and you find a little calm in all this, even if only for a moment. You can do this if you choose. I hear the strength in you. It's my superpower (along with finding things). I wanted leaping off of tall building and all, but it was already taken.
