Well, if talking to her works, by all means do so. Probably shouldn't point out her shortcomings right now. Of course it is annoying to have her always put her mother before you, but maybe she just thinks her mother needs her more right now. Sometimes one has to defer to children and elderly parents. In my opinion that's just the way it is.
Of course she should fix something for all of you. That seems pretty much an obvious snub to me. She seems angry. I would say she isn't feeling like her needs are being met either.
I suspect you and your W are having some of the very same feelings, even though you don't realize it. Just my opinion...
Getting out and into some hobbies again really should help your outlook a lot.
