Thanks for your post. I guess I've just been keeping an updated thread for anyone who is curious what this all looks like two years after the bomb. It's better in a manner of speaking, but it is not repaired by any means. And it may never be.
I've thought about the whole 'friendship' thing. While I do agree that being good friends, if not best, is a healthy part of any relationship, I do not wish to be downgraded to merely a friend to my H. I don't think that would be very good for me in the long term. So I don't know what I'm going to do about it. Nothing for the time being. I do not wish to sound selfish; I'm just trying to think of what's best for my sanity. My H made me feel like the smallest, least desirable person alive when I discovered his affair. And it wasn't anything he said; just the act of cheating was enough. I have so much healing to do.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
