I agree with fender to some extent, and definitely think that some of what you said in the email wasn't necessary at all, and likely did more damage than good. I was actually cringing when I read it. Contacting H and throwing on guilt trips isn't going to help, and has obviously not. If you're going to go dark, wait until he contacts you, and be short and sweet -- act like it wouldn't bother you to be done talking to him ASAP so you can get on with doing whatever it is you're doing, going to do, etc. Also, if you DON'T want this D, don't set him up to get emotional and go file. You guys are playing too many cruel games on each other, and it isn't healthy for you and ESPECIALLY not for the kids (i.e. the electricity sitch).
PLEASE be careful about how you're applying your DB strategies -- do you have DR and have you read it? I don't think it would recommend any of what you said in your email to.
