I have been debating whether or not to post this information but I feel like I am going crazy so here goes...
Long story short: my H moved out in February while I was pregnant because he thought we were having too many problems in the relationship and needed space. He began an EA which led to a PA through the pregnancy and birth of my son. He announced on Father's Day that we should move on and that he is tired of lying and wants to pursue a relationship with this woman.
I really just don't know what to do. Do I accept this as my fate and move on or keep fighting to save what seems to be a dead marriage? I love my husband and I know that he loves me. He says he is just confused and doesn't deserve me, that I'm too good for him. I have posted on the MLC site in the past b/c I have been told that's what this is. H has lost a great deal of weight and acts practically unrecognizable now. Please share your thoughts as to when someone should stop DBing... H says that we can never come back from this place, when I ask if we can save the marriage. We have been to see a C but clearly it hasn't helped, considering his latest bomb.
He's now looking at real estate (with OW, also married with kids) and investigating putting our house on the market. Please help!
Continue to DB if you want to save your M. I would say, from what you have written, your M is still salvagable, if that's what you want. I would never give up, but you have to continue to DB your rear-end off. It's all about patience. If you 2 still love each other, things will work out. Just make sure you are being good to yourself as well right now. Take care of your little boys (I have 3 little boys) and show your H a woman and wife he would not ever want to lose or leave. Read & re-read the DB book!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
If you 2 still love each other, things will work out.
I keep telling myself that but it gets harder as I watch him become more attached to this woman. I have noticed that he seems aggitated fairly often, almost as if the OW gives him a hard time sometimes. Perhaps he is just struggling with his own demons (though it makes me happy attributing his unhappiness to her).
I focus everyday on being happy around him, letting him believe that I'm doing okay, which honestly drives him nuts. It's almost like he wants me to be falling apart. I will keep DBing for now and also need to implement the GAL thing! We don't have many friends/family in the area, which makes GAL a bit difficult, but I know that's an important step of the process. This site has been a lifesaver for me, thanks so much for your input!
