It seems like everything is pretty much the same here, but sometimes I see little pockets of improvement on his part.
Like July 4th, he said it was the first 4th in a long long time that there was no arguing, I have decided to just let everything go, and allow a day happen the way it wants to happen, and let my H plan whatever he wants to do on holidays and let him be the one to pick out the order of things, so he has the feeling of control over things. He still doesn't affection outside the bedroom, unless I initiate it. And yesterday I said something when saying goodbye to him on the phone about him saying IT first, and he said uh uh, I said it for years first, so now I am not going to anymore, that I would have to do it first. and I said what about when I am seventy, would he say it then, and he said maybe I will, let me see it will be about the length of time for you to say it first that I said it first, so maybe. Did that make any sense at all?
Then last night, he was late getting home, and due to the nature of his job, after almost two hours, I started getting worried, and YES, a little suspicious, so I called him. He said I can't talk now, I'll call you back. And in about five minutes he did, and said he was involved in a sting, and was just getting ready to take the guy to jail. He said they did it so late, because that was when the guy came to work, fifteen minutes before my H's shift was due to end. Well, anyway, he said I got an attitude with him, and I said I was just worried about him. He loves to say, like a stern father, don't get an attitude with me, young lady. Well, he doesn't add the young lady, but I can almost hear it anyway. I do say yes sir to him alot now. I got that from Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, When her H called to her to do a little hanky panky, she called out yes sir to him and went a running to him.. So, I figure a southern man likes to be called sir, or honey.
So, this morning, we woke up, and he said good morning, and leaned over to look at me, and when I turned he smiled the genuine smile I sometimes get nowadays. Then later he mentioned my attitude last night, and said when I called to check up on him, and I said NO, I called to see if you were okay, he said there I was getting an attitude with him when he said it wrong, and I said I'm sorry, and he said you better say I'm sorry, so I said it again. Anyway, he wasn't really very ticked off, and offered to show me the paperwork from last night, and naturally I declined.
Oh, the other day, Tuesday, he was getting ready to leave for work, and couldn't find his keys. He looked everywhere, and then I suggested he look in his car, which is where he locked them. He tried the spare key, but it wouldn't work, so he started looking for another key, and started hollering at me about my SECRET SPARE KEY. I told him I thought the one he had just tried was the one I had made and gave him. He said no it wasn't and where the you know what was it? I looked everywhere, dumping crap all over the bed to try and find one, and he walks in after awhile, and looks on a small shelf where I sometimes stash my small jewelry and stuff, and lo and behold, there is a key, and he checks it and guess what? It is the SECRET SPARE KEY. So, now, I am accused of playing games with him and why couldn't I find a key right there in plain sight like he did, and I told him he did stuff like that all the time, overlooking things right out there in the open. But he said no, I was playing games with him, hiding his stuff from him. So, anyway he starts to leave, and guess what?? His glasses are missing, and he says I hid them, too. So, he starts tearing up the bedroom in the area where he says he put them, gives up and angrily starts to leave, at which time, I follow him to his car, and say lets not leave it like this and him go to work angry, so he said well, give me a kiss, and I did, and I said I didn't hide your stuff, and you call me if you find your glasses, and I will call you if I find them. Then he pops out of the car, leaving the keys in the car, and the door open, and says you find them now, and went storming into the house, with me hot on his heels. The dang dog got in my way and wherever I stepped, he stepped in front of me, and my H started yelling for me to hurry up, and I hollered back the dog is in my way!! So, in we go to tear up the bedroom some more, and after a few minutes, he thankfully left. I told him I would call him if I found them. I found the stupid things a few minutes later, and called him, and he came and picked them up. The next morning, he was looking a little sheepish, but no apology, he doesn't feel he need apologize for how he acts towards me at all.
So, does anyone think he may be losing it? I don't really argue with him anymore, and rarely defend myself against these weird accusations about hiding his stuff, but sometimes I just feel it is right to stand up for myself. He isn't this way all the time, just really when he is very hurried or running late, and doesn't remember where he left his stuff, or know where I hid it!! not really!
We will be going on vacation soon, and I am hoping things will be so good with no arguing, and I will say nothing about the reckless driving of his, and just make sure I am buckled in, and ask God to protect us all. And he is the scariest driver in the world, and the other day almost pulled out in front of a fast moving car and when I said wait! he got a little ticked off, and said he could have made it, so next time, I just have to let him wreck, and then not say I told you so. He tells me he drives on his job every day, and he is good at it. Well, when it's us, and we are going down the freeway, he doesn't need to act as though he is after a suspect.
Well, I hope everyone here is doing all right, and I am going to catch up on some threads now..
