I also don't buy into the notion that a person must be happy with his/herself before s/he can be happy in a relationship.

Interesting. I won't bother "arguing" the point if it works for you. It's just something I haven't seen and do not feel myself. So I wouldn't be able to support that concept for anyone else.

I assume that is true for you then? How many other people have you seen this true for?

Also would you (and Cemar) believe me if I told you that when my XH and I first separated and I was incredibly sad about the separation and possible ending of our marriage I would still have characterized myself as "happy" on many levels. Yes of course I would have been MUCH happier if my XH had come home but it doesn't make sense to me to base all my happiness on things external to me and beyond my control.

So I guess much of it just comes down to personal philosophy and finding something that works for you. So if your personal philosophy is WORKING for YOU, far be it from me to insist it does not work. I will just insist that my philosophy works for me and others I know.



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus